Baby J is ONE!

One week ago today my little lady baby turned one. She is one year old. How the fork did that happen?!? My sister also turned 29 (again) so October 18^th is a doubly special day. Is doubly even a word? It is today.

Sidenote: there is a dilemma to your kid and sister having the same birthday… Facebook. I updated my status with the prerequisite cheesy mama love post and made a mental note to write a second post later that day with all the cheesy love for my sister but then I got busy with work, rushed to get home to decorate the cake, made dinner, smothered baby J with love, did bedtime, cleaned up, passed out early… so basically life happened and I forgot. Not an excuse and I feel bad. I promise to make it up to her next year. On her third 29^th birthday.

For the big ONE birthday we obviously had to celebrate so we planned a party on the weekend with family and friends, and I also insisted on doing a smash cake. My friend and amazing photographer Kelly did me a favour and suggested we do it in the morning and not during the party. So smart. She also did me another huge favour and made the trip to our house TWICE (30+ minutes each way) to take the photos and then to attend the party.

It was an amazing party. I didn’t do all the decorating I wanted or make all the nibblies I had planned but it didn’t matter. Our house was filled with family and friends and I think everyone had a pretty great time, especially baby J who was loved on by everyone. I can’t wait to tell her about it one day.

The smash cake was the most stressful part for me. I ordered the onesie and the tutu, bought a little crown headband in Palm Springs back in February that of course I lost, had grand plans to make and decorate the cake thanks to Pinterest and sent my brother-in-law to wait for the party store to open because I forgot about balloons the night before. I baked the cake and chickened out on the decorating but thankfully my sister stepped up and it turned out beautifully. And then Kelly arrived to take pictures and when I saw them I literally caught my breath. I am in love with them.

As you can tell baby J hated having the cake all over her and wouldn’t even taste it. Not an icing fan.

That last one, that is my favourite picture of her ever and I want it on all of the things. And a massively huge more-than-words-can-actually-say THANK YOU to Kelly for one of the best gifts we could have ever dreamed of during baby J's first year of life. 

Happy Birthday little Lady, we love you to the moon and back.

Proof I'm Still Alive

So this is what it feels like to try and blog after months... I have no clue how to even start this post. But I guess I just did. I don.'the know why I stopped blogging although looking back it's obvious that I had nothing interesting to talk about except baby J's monthly stats. I guess I became one of those moms whose life became all about her kid. And it's hard for it not to when you're with your child 24/7 for a year... 

But last week that all changed. How you ask? Well...

1.       I went back to work. My maternity leave is officially over and I am back at work four days a week. I never thought I would come back less than full time but by the time she was 4 months old I was already dreaming of part-time hours. My ideal would be three days a but I need 32 hours a week to keep our benefits... because my hubby owns his own business it would be very expensive to get them. So four days it is and I'm grateful for even that. 

2.       Baby J started going to daycare four days a week. I alternate between this being easy and being super hard. It feels great when I drop her off and her teachers look genuinely happy to cuddle with her when we arrive, they hug and kiss on her like crazy. And the best part is that baby J smiles back. This is also one of the hardest parts - aren't those smiles supposed to be saved for me? 

3.       Daddy started doing daycare pickup and is on baby J duty until I get home (anywhere from 1 to 2 hours). Daddy got off really easy while mommy was at home on maternity leave so it's a big adjustment for him and it's going to take some practice but he needs to take on more responsibility. We're working on it. 

4.       We caught our first cold from daycare. And it kicked mommy's ass. Baby J got a cough and runny nose, and I got a fever, lost my voice, green phlegm, horrible cough... We're now on the mend although I'm told baby will have a runny nose until she starts kindergarten. Awesome. 

5.       And the biggest event of them all? My baby isn't a baby anymore. Baby J had her first birthday last week. We did all of the things: a smash cake, a party with family and friends on the weekend, and a little family party on her actual birthday. But that special occasion deserves its own post!

So that's life right now. Riveting isn't it?

I have missed this space and as of right now plan to spend a bit more time here (where else am I going to capture all our memories, a baby book? Haven't even written her name in it!) but no promises.

Baby J: One Month!

In true Sarah fashion this post is exactly two weeks late but better late than never right? The days and weeks are flying by so fast and I want to be able to look back and remember the little things. Hopefully I will manage to post her two month update in a more timely fashion but if history says anything... well we shall see. 

SLEEP: we were totally spoiled for the first two weeks because Baby J would be in bed from 10pm to 5 - 6am, waking up twice throughout the night. A dream sleeper for new parents. Turns out she was just breaking us in slowly. Now the longest she goes is 3 hours and she won't sleep past 6am in her crib. Thankfully my hubby takes her until 6:45 so I can get a bit more sleep. The morning is spent doing a whole lot of nothing as the babe sleeps on and off. On top of me. Every time I put her down in her bassinet or crib she wakes up within 10-15 minutes. So I cuddle her. She won't be this small for long and while I sit there watching Netflix for the third hour straight and dreading the question my husband will ask when he gets home (what did you do today?) I remind myself that she is literally growing every day and to enjoy it while I can. 

We don't really have any sort of routine yet but I am hoping to develop one over the next month or so. I know two months is still young and will obviously be flexible but it would be nice to have a general idea how the day is going to go. The only sure thing right now is that my hubby finishes work between 2 - 3pm and takes over for an hour or two while I sneak upstairs for a nap. He has only woken me up once so far when he couldn't get her to stop crying.

SKILLS AND DEVELOPMENT: At one month I think most of the development is happening inside Baby J's little body. The most noticeable thing right now is that she opens her eyes and has brief awake periods. I also feel like she is actually looking into my eyes now when I am feeding her. I imagine that she is thinking "so this is the person whose voice I have been listening to for all those months"... or I'm just exhausted and imagining crazy things. That's more likely. 

Oh and she has totally been smiling since birth! People say it's gas but it happens every time she falls asleep. What can she be dreaming about??

Baby J can hold her head up pretty well and the doctors noted how strong her legs are. I have nothing to compare it to so I'll have to take their word for it. 

FAVORITES: There aren't too many of these yet but Baby J loves to sleep on Mommy. She also loves to have her arms free and her hands up by her ears while she sleeps. 

NOT SO FAVORITES: She is not a fan of her mamaroo... that was money well spent. We are hoping she grows to love it but I'm not holding my breath. 

MY THOUGHTS: I am so excited for more of Baby J's personality to come out as she gets older. The other day she reached in my direction with one arm (total fluke, she was flailing around like a baby deer) and I am now so excited for her to reach for me. And to hear her giggle. I absolutely adore our cuddle sessions and can't even imagine that my little turtle is going to grown into an actual person.  Not sure if that came out the way I meant but hopefully you know what I mean. 

I missed my nap today. 

I am so in love with my baby girl and I still have to pinch myself to believe I'm her Mom. I can't wait to see what the next month will bring. 

Happy 1 month birthday Turtle, Xxo

Baby Fever?

Babies babies babies!  Babies consume my thoughts right now! It could be the season, everyone is posting this year's Santa visit photos and I love them.  I head straight for the baby clothes when shopping and pick up every tiny little outfit oohing and aahing until I have to put it back even though I briefly contemplate buying it and hiding it in my closet.  I could probably have outfitted a newborn to 12 months by now!  This past weekend I asked my sister-in-law to keep an adorable purple jacket my niece was wearing... She proceeded to tell me about all the things she has kept for me and my insides were doing the biggest happy dance!

But I am now taking it out on my furbies.  Oh and I call them FURBIES.

We ran out of dog food last night so after letting Milo eating cat food today (he loves it, thinks it's candy) I ran out after work to get him some kibble.

I came home with this (and his food):

And then I proceeded to do this:

Don't they look cute, embarrassed and pissed off at me all at once??

Having a baby freaks me out. I am so incredibly selfish, I love to sleep, I love to be lazy on the couch in front of tv for hours on end, I love love love drinking wine (or vodka, tequila, baileys...) and I am terrified that I would resent a baby and be a bad mom.  And the money, the stress it puts on marriages, there are so many things that run through my mind when I dare to daydream about the joy I think it must be.  But baby fever is taking over my mind and I'm not ready to voice how much I really want one yet but it helps to say it here.  Maybe (hopefully) I will be ready soon.