Happy Birthday Dad

Hey blog land, welcome to my brand spanking new blog! Isn't she amazing?  The fabulous Erin of Erin Elizabeth Designs AND one of my favorite daily reads Two Thirds Hazel (actually one of the first blogs I started following) took my thoughts, did some magic and produced what you see now. Incomparable to my previous (lack of) design, this new look makes me happier than finding $100 in the clearance aisle at Target!

I was racking my brain trying to figure out what my first post would be on my actual real-life grown up blog when I realized that tomorrow is my Dad's birthday.  But instead of buying him a funny card and helping him blow out candles on a cake, my only way to connect with him is through my thoughts so it seems fitting that I celebrate him here.

My dad was killed in a car accident 20 years ago.  20 years... Two decades... Basically a lifetime.  He has now been dead longer than I knew him alive.  It was a sudden, tragic death that rocked my family to the core.  My mom, my two sisters and I were surrounded by family and friends, supported in so many different ways by people who loved us.  It was hard but the four of us rallied together and started rebuilding our lives.

And now twenty years later, some days I don't think about him but some days my heart aches because I miss him, because I'm sad that I don't have him in my life and because I'm sad that he has missed so much of my life.  But if I had the chance to tell him, let him know how I am and who I have become, I would want tell him:

Mom taught me how to drive standard and I think I'm pretty damn good at it.

I didn't end up going to law school but I loved the school I did go to.

I now understand what you did as a mining engineer and I think it was pretty cool.

I married a man who really loves me and I am pretty sure you would really like him.

Every time I drink out of a crystal glass I try to make the rim sing like you did.

I haven't gone skiing since you died and I don't know if I ever will again.

I don't like cilantro either!

I wish I had traveled more when I was young (and single).

Your best friend still wears your watch every day.

Your brother was the most loved guest at my wedding (yes, he came all the way from Wales!).

I am too stubborn for my own good (I so get this one from you).

Mom made a heart out of your tshirt that I wore inside my wedding dress against my heart, my something old and something blue.

It breaks my heart that my children won't ever know you.

I miss you.

I love you.

Happy Birthday Dad.